We've put together a list of the "must haves" for this holiday season gift giving. You can pick from these or go it alone and ruin Christmas, your choice.



Talk about the gift that keeps on giving, how about giving the gift of light? Now come on, is there really any better gift? Imagine the praise and thanks that come with this gift. "there i was sitting all alone in the dark, when i got the best gift ever! light!!" that's a pretty good response to a gift that will set you back less than something on the Wendy's value menu. Giving the gift of light practically makes you a Greek god.



Before you say you can't afford it, let us say, "how can you afford not to have one". Let's just get the home protection perks out of the way. How many times have you tried to protect your home from an onslaught of intruders only to run out of bullets? well guess what? swords never run out of anything but opponents. If that alone doesn't sell you or your loved ones on getting a sword then maybe this will...they are badass and they can double as artwork too, take down whatever boring artwork you have on your wall and hang up a sword, watch as women want to be with you, and men want to be you, or with you, no judgement here.



Now this is a great gift for Dad. You know that when Dads get together they talk about all the crappy gifts their kids give them for Christmas, and then on the way home, your Dad cries in his car because he knows you are going to let him down again this year. Can you picture that? your Dad uncontrollably weeping in his car sitting in the driveway, dreading that walk from the car to the front door where he'll have to fake that smile once again as you hand him whatever horrible gift you made with your hands. Instead, try getting him some Cartilage. He won't expect it and you can be sure his knees need it.



You can grab one of these on eBay for a few hundred grand. Which might be a lot when you think about what "a lot" of money is. So try not to think about it. You could buy a house or a Ferrari and those things will eventually break down or fall apart, but for the loved one on your list nothing says forever like a 50 million year old T-Rex skull. And remember they make new houses and fancy cars everyday, no one is making new dinosaurs anymore.



The jet pack has been a staple on everyone's list since they were a kid, well wait no further. Technology has finally caught up to our childhood dreams. The jet pack is a reality, and you really need one. Think of the time you will save zipping around above the city, you would practically be a superhero, if you used it for good, saving people and stuff like that, or the best pizza delivery guy if you really wanted to make a difference in this world.











Unbelievable! We have the same Christmas list this year! I have procured everything on my list except for Sue, the T-Rex. When I went to pick her up, I realized that she wouldn’t fit in my car and perhaps she would be difficult to wrap. So, I bought a falconry set from Neiman Marcus instead. I just hope my family and friends will remember that it’s the thought that counts. Now, I have started planning my list for 2014…the year of the Octopi Therm-i. Happy Holidays everyone!

Dec 18, 2013

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